Managing Expectations and Dealing with Disappointment: NaNoWriMo Edition

The Tarot Swords as a Mirror for Reflection

On Tuesday of this week, I woke to some troubling news. As I scrolled through Instagram, I saw several posts made by my writer peers around deleting their NaNoWriMo accounts. After seeking to understand why they were so upset with the popular nonprofit organization that hosts the annual write-that-first-draft-in-November-goal, I began feeling ill at what I uncovered.

I will let those of you who are interested in what has happened do your own research but be forewarned: the accusations surrounding the NaNoWriMo administration are disappointing.

And that’s what I have been sitting with these past couple of days: disappointment.

The expectations I had placed on the NaNoWriMo organization were that of professionalism and support, and in the past, when I’ve participated in the November challenge, I also placed personal expectations on word count goals and other desired achievements throughout the month. I can imagine those of you who are participating this year might be experiencing your own disappointments—whether related to the unfolding scandal or not.

Simply put, when our expectations aren’t met, disappointment can cast a shadow over our endeavors.

As per usual, when I’m troubled, confused, or feeling anything that seemingly halts my creativity and stains my mood, I shuffle my tarot cards and start seeking inspiration.

How can I manage my disappointment around what has happened with NaNoWriMo?

This was the question I asked, and as the cards started jumping from my deck, I immediately noticed a pattern: mostly Swords.

If you aren’t yet experienced with the tarot, the Swords suit represents concepts relating to thoughts, ideas, intuition, intelligence, and conflict. In terms of helping to manage disappointment, the Swords cards can become mirrors, casting a reflection of oneself and said disappointments in order for one to examine them more closely. Doing so can help provide clarity around overcoming and moving forward.

With this in mind…

I searched my deck for Swords cards that resonate with the construct of disappointment and designed mirroring spreads to help work through this shadowy burden.

Each mirrored spread contains a card, a corresponding one-word meaning, and questions you might ask when pondering how you can use each card to manage unmet expectations and deal with disappointment.

For each spread, shuffle your cards, ask the corresponding questions, and then pull cards for reflection.

Tarot Card: Three of Swords

One-word meaning: Wounded

Questions: In what ways have my thoughts around this situation wounded my perception and experience? How can I reframe what has happened and inspire my endeavors in a positive way?

Tarot Card: Five of Swords

One-word meaning: Defeated

Questions: How can I walk away from my defeated expectations and leave the disappointment behind me? In what ways can I take back the power I’ve placed with others and reclaim my confidence? 

Tarot Card: Six of Swords

One-word meaning: Moving

Questions: What might happen if I don’t move on from this disappointment? How can a change of mindset and/or scenery help me move on from what has happened?

Tarot Card: Seven of Swords

One-word meaning: Distracted

Questions: How am I being distracted by my unmet expectations and disappointment? In what ways can I counter these distractions and remain focused on my endeavors?

Tarot Card: Eight of Swords

One-word meaning: Overthink

Questions: How are my pervasive thoughts around this situation closing in on my mindset and affecting my mental health? How can I constructively blind myself to these pervasive thoughts in order to free myself from them?

Tarot Card: Nine of Swords

One-word meaning: Overwhelm

Questions: How has this situation caused an overwhelm of thoughts and feelings? How can I put my unmet expectations and disappointment out of my mind so I can focus and/or rest?

Tarot Card: Ten of Swords

One-word meaning: Devastated

Questions: In what way(s) has this devastation changed me? What is the first step in rising from rock-bottom and starting anew?

---

---

In her more than thirty years as a storyteller and visual designer, Amanda “Mandy” Hughes has written and designed over a dozen works of literary, Southern Gothic, and women’s fiction under pen names A. Lee Hughes and Mandy Lee.

Mandy is the founder of Haint Blue Creative^®, a space for readers and storytellers to explore, learn, and create. She holds a Bachelor and Master of Science in Psychology, and she has worked as an instructional designer for nearly twenty years.

When she’s not writing, Mandy enjoys the movies, theater, music, traveling, nature walks, birdwatching, and binging The Office. She is a tarot enthusiast who uses the cards to enhance creativity and foster wellness. She lives in Georgia with her husband and four sons, two of whom are furrier than the others (but not by much). Visit her website at haintbluecreative.com and follow her on Instagram @haintbluecreative.